just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Be still, my beating vagina.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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