Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
