I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
The air taste purple.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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