There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
