PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
