Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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