I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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