I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wish I only lived at night.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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