I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The air was thick with penises
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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