I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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