everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
