Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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