Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
