if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i think i just lost a toe
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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