frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
