im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
