census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
