I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
