you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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