But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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