So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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