So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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