We're facebook friends in real life
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
