Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
