yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
