belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
