i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
