If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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