I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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