No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
