She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
