I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
