u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
