We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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