I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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