i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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