eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
