she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
