I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
