I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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