Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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