don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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