He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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