You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so let's talk penis.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
it glows. i had to have it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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