My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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