real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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