He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
foreskin is a definite game changer
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
