We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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