In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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