The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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